Guidelines which we hope you will find helpful:
- Date a Christian if possible. (This is the heritage that we have from our grandparents which we now pass to you and we would like to see it passed to the next generations.) It will save you from lots of heartaches over religious differences next time. It will also give you a mutual interest which cements the relationship. In a Christian relationship it's a love triangle.
Christ at the top of your triangle, you n the person u r dating at the bottom. Both growing upwards to God n thus closing in on the gap between you.
2. If you are interested in a non Christian you must make known your stand in Christ to him right from the start. Don't mislead a person. Let your principles, beliefs n core values be clear between you so you will not disappoint each other. When dating a non Christian you must pray day n night for his conviction to believe in Christ. Talk about both your values and see how you can both accept each other's values. Never compromise. If there be uneasiness don't push it aside and cover it up with excuses. Bang heavens gates for answers and guidance. God will guide you. Trust God in this. He knows best.
3. Talk to one of us if there be doubt or struggle or confusion. Matters of the heart can get complicated. Sometimes you have to b strong and hard to protect yourself. We will not judge you but provide you a listening ear n prayers. We respect you as an adult but if we see some unwise moves or choice made by you we will speak up. We are your parents n God has given us the privilege to mentor and disciple you.
4. When going on a date, always plan to do things together like study together, read a book n discuss it, go to museums n talk about what you see. Be in open and bright spaces. No going to the room or sitting in dark corners. Don't allow yourself to be tempted. Remember if the person is not meant for you, it's easier to break up when you are not carried away with physical acts like touching ,petting etc. It will also leave less scars on both of you, making it easier to move on. Avoid being physical because you will never be satisfied with just a little touching. You will want more n more and it will get out of control. Your father only held my little finger. When I sat behind him on the motorbike our friends laughed at us saying there's space for an elephant. These are things you can talk about when dating cause you are laying your ground rules too.
5. Watch the choice of places you hang out in. If you are overseas and it's the norm to go to the pub, please do know how much drink you can hold. Anyway it's not healthy to hang out in the pub often. Go for the experience but don't make it a way of life. It's too expensive a lifestyle anyway. Drinking is also not good. So let it be occasional and not a daily affair.
6. Live within your means. Never be in debt. Never borrow from others and don't let your friends make it a habit to borrow money from you. If you have a credit card, use it only when it's a planned purchase and you know you have the cash for it. Never live on credit. Pay whatever sum that is on your credit card bill when d billing comes in each month. Don't accumulate. We will not bail you out on your credits.
7. Don't stay or hide in your room too long. Go out and socialize especially when you don't feel like it. Get out under the sun. It will drive depression and sadness and melancholy away. When you are down, go under the sun. Be outdoors. Walk or play some games. Do things which you've never done before for the experience. Be adventurous.
8. Find a church to worship and serve. Don't put too high an expectation on the church and the people. You are there to commune with God and His people. Don't make excuses not going to church or not serving God. One excuse will lead to another. The right time to serve will never come because every new day is the right time to serve Him. He has given you a new day for a purpose. To serve Him.
9. Take time for kind acts. To be a servant to others. Go help in soup kitchens, counsel a friend.... When you spend time helping others you will be grateful for all God has blessed you with. Use all the talents God has given you. You will discover new talents and strengths.
10. Always inform us your whereabouts and introduce us to your friends. Don't hide things from us. Don't do anything that will cause us to worry. Connect and contact us regularly. Regardless of who you will be one day, you are our child and we are your parents. We have responsibility towards each other.
11. Protect your relationship with your each other. Keep in touch even when you are busy. Don't neglect each other and don't drift away. There are only the two of you. So you must care and protect each other.
12. Above all...never leave God out of your life. He must be at the core. Your life and decisions and activities must center on Jesus. Remember we are meeting each other at Jesus' bosom one day. So live your life in Christ so that we will be together in eternity.
